1st Chair

      Alright, so yesterday for school orchestra we took a chair test, and for those of you who don't know what a chair test is I shall explain.  It is where you try-out for what seat you get in the orchestra (hence the name chair test) 1st being the best and the last being the not so best.  I was so darn nervous and brought my cello home like two weeks early to practice like 8 measures of sixteenth notes ( those are fast for all those non music people), all in all not that hard and I guess my practice payed off.  We got the results today and to my complete and utter disbelief I got 1st chair out of like 7 cellos!  Whooot whooot right...well actually WRONG!!!!  You see, I didn't want 1st chair I wanted 3rd chair and could be content with 2nd chair but 1st?!?!?  I was 1st cello once before in a homeschool orchestra but that was when there was only one cello...(that was me in case you were wondering)   1st chair is a great honor and all but really?  I mean all the other cellos plus all the other people in the orchestra expect me to be the best.  I have to sound the best, play the best, act the best.  Normally I wouldn't have a problem with it but if you know me...I am not the best cello player.  It doesn't come as easily to me as writing or reading.  I actually have to work at it.. (yeah, hard :P ) Also, people will stare at me.  I don't know how many of you know this but I am actually kinda shy... I don't like to draw attention to myself.  So being in 1st chair not drawing attention to myself is not an option.  But maybe, in the long run, this will work for my good.  I will have to practice and be aware but learn to accept that I can't be perfect at everything (THE HORROR right?) Having someone see my mistakes is really hard for me so this isn't the best position for me.  Also, because I feel as though  my stand parttner should have been first, I feel like I am constantly going to have to prove myself, but for now I'll take it as it comes.  I will do my best and that is all anyone could ask for.  So wish me luck on my new and terrifying position in the orchestra.  I believe though, it is in Gods plan for this to help me grow and personally this is the only thing keeping me from running to Mrs. Zahn (the conductor) and telling her she made a mistake.  How that for courage? :D So on and so forth.  I shall grow!!  ...hopefully