1st Chair

      Alright, so yesterday for school orchestra we took a chair test, and for those of you who don't know what a chair test is I shall explain.  It is where you try-out for what seat you get in the orchestra (hence the name chair test) 1st being the best and the last being the not so best.  I was so darn nervous and brought my cello home like two weeks early to practice like 8 measures of sixteenth notes ( those are fast for all those non music people), all in all not that hard and I guess my practice payed off.  We got the results today and to my complete and utter disbelief I got 1st chair out of like 7 cellos!  Whooot whooot right...well actually WRONG!!!!  You see, I didn't want 1st chair I wanted 3rd chair and could be content with 2nd chair but 1st?!?!?  I was 1st cello once before in a homeschool orchestra but that was when there was only one cello...(that was me in case you were wondering)   1st chair is a great honor and all but really?  I mean all the other cellos plus all the other people in the orchestra expect me to be the best.  I have to sound the best, play the best, act the best.  Normally I wouldn't have a problem with it but if you know me...I am not the best cello player.  It doesn't come as easily to me as writing or reading.  I actually have to work at it.. (yeah, hard :P ) Also, people will stare at me.  I don't know how many of you know this but I am actually kinda shy... I don't like to draw attention to myself.  So being in 1st chair not drawing attention to myself is not an option.  But maybe, in the long run, this will work for my good.  I will have to practice and be aware but learn to accept that I can't be perfect at everything (THE HORROR right?) Having someone see my mistakes is really hard for me so this isn't the best position for me.  Also, because I feel as though  my stand parttner should have been first, I feel like I am constantly going to have to prove myself, but for now I'll take it as it comes.  I will do my best and that is all anyone could ask for.  So wish me luck on my new and terrifying position in the orchestra.  I believe though, it is in Gods plan for this to help me grow and personally this is the only thing keeping me from running to Mrs. Zahn (the conductor) and telling her she made a mistake.  How that for courage? :D So on and so forth.  I shall grow!!  ...hopefully

Maybe There's Tomorrow....

Alright I know that I haven't posted in a long time.  I am really good at making excuses so I could go on forever.  I could probably do a whole post on excuses but I will spare you.  (I am a very kind person)  But down to business. . This is one rare event that might not happen again for a while.  This is a profound thought post!!   Without further ado...
       Almost everyone has heard the saying 'Live like you were dying' or 'Live as though you are going to die tomorrow'  or some other variation.  You hear it, and you hear it and maybe you say, "Hmmm that is a good quote."  Then go on with your merry little life.  Have you ever really stopped and thought about it. 
 The end is near.
  It is closer than you think.  
What if tomorrow was your last day?  
You have run out of chances.  
The minuets are ticking by.  
How much time do you have left?  Truth, nobody knows.  Yet, death has always seemed far away.  "Gee that will never happen to me."  "I'll always have tomorrow."  Even if you don't really know it, we are always looking forward to tomorrow.  Like its always going to be there.  But it might not be.  In seconds every little thing could change.  There is never certainty   Yet, we live as though we are going to live forever.   
We don't live forever.  Our lives are but a blink of an eye, so here are some challenges for you.  Things to think about.  To apply to your life.  To make you think about tomorrow and whether or not you are prepared for what might come.  

1.  Never put off till tomorrow what could be done today.  Yeah, I am the queen of all procrastinators   But, I'm not really talking about homework.  Have you ever done something and you owe an apology?  Or maybe, someone has done something to you and you need to forgive them.  It.  Can't.  Wait.  Make amends and do it now! 

2. If your life was a movie and you were the protagonist  would you like yourself?  Make yourself into the hero you would like to see on the TV screen.  

3.  What are your hopes? Your dream?  What can you do now to make them possible?  It is never too early to begin.  

4.  Never go to bed on an angry word.  Alright, we have all heard this one before but think of it's truth.  You may not have tomorrow to be happy.  Don't let angry words separate you.  I love you is always a better way to say good night.  

Okay, now don't think that I am depressed or something.  I don't go about all my days thinking on such dreary subjects.  You just never know.  Listen to the song Live Like You Were dying by Tim Mcgraw.  That is an amazing song that says what I am trying to say much better...and it's Tim Mcgraw so you can't go wrong.   Really, what got me to write this post was a book I've read recently.  "before i fall"  (nothing was capitalized in her title so I left it that way...) by Lauren Oliver.  It is a crude book and I will not read it again because some of the content I deemed inappropriate  but the message rang clear as a bell.  It's about this girl who died and she get 7 chances to redo her last day.  This is an excerpt from that book.  She says everything that I have been trying to.  Hopefully this will change your thinking as it has done to me.  

               "Maybe you can afford to wait.  Maybe for you there's a tomorrow   maybe for you there's one thousand tomorrows, or thee thousand, or ten, so much time you can bathe in it, roll around in it, let it slide like coins through your fingers.  So much time you can waste it.  
           But for some of us there's only today.  And the truth is, you never really know." 

I'll leave you on that note and with a promise that I will be more faithful to writing on this blog.